Pre-Match Hype: England’s “Bazball” vs India’s “Hold My Lassi”
England strutted in like they owned the vibe check, while India side-eyed them like “Bro, this is our backyard.” Fans spent hours debating if Rohit’s beard game > Buttler’s “I’m secretly a Marvel villain” smolder. (Spoiler: Pant’s chaotic grin won.)
Toss Trauma: Rohit Won, Chose to Bat, and Twitter Lost Its Chill
Rohit: “We’ll bat first. Trust.”
Buttler: “Cool, we’ll just… vibe, I guess?”
Fans: “Bruh, chasing in ODIs is LIT. Rohit pls.” Meanwhile, BCCI’s Insta dropped a 🍿 emoji. Mood.
India’s Batting: From “Yasss King” to “Pls Get Therapy”
Powerplay: Rohit and Gill opened like they were racing for a Swiggy delivery. Rohit’s sixes? Chef’s kiss. Gill’s strike rate? Slower than your ex’s character growth. Out for 28, and Twitter roasted him harder than Koffee With Karan scripts.
Kohli’s Cameo: Entered to “VK! VK!” chants. Played 22 balls, scored 17, then nicked Wood. Cue Twitter: “King’s back… to the pavilion.” 💔
Pant’s Chaos Arc: Smashed 68 off 45, including a reverse-sweep that broke physics. Memes flooded: “Pant vs Laws of Gravity” with “Unstoppable” audio.
Tailenders: Jadeja tried to “finish like MSD” but looked like your cousin at a family cricket match. India all out for 320. “Could’ve been 350 if not for that meddling Wood!”
England’s Bowling: Wood Fired, Others Expired
- Mark Wood: 150 km/h thunderbolts. Pant’s bat: “Ayo, chill.”
- Reece Topley: 1/60. Got dragged harder than Velma’s ratings.
- Liam Livingstone’s Spin: Slower than your mom’s “typing…” texts. India’s batters: “We’ll wait.”
England’s Chase: A Masterclass in Copium
Openers: Bairstow and Roy started like they were solving a crossword. Bairstow’s 40 off 30 had fans like, “Bazball is BACK!” Then Bumrah said “Nope” and yorked his stumps.
Root’s “Test Match” Mode: Scored 89 while cosplaying “anchor.” Strike rate? 78. Fans: “Bro thinks it’s 2019 WC.”
Buttler’s Cameo: Smashed 2 sixes, then tried to scoop Bumrah. Result? Stumps flew faster than his IPL paycheck.
Tailenders: Played like they had a Ryanair flight to catch. All out for 280. “At least they beat the traffic?” – Copium FC.
MVP Flex: Bumrah’s Yorker Drip 💦
- 5/45 stats.
- Vibes: “I’m here to end careers and chew gum… and I’m all out of gum.”
- Meme Moment: His death stare after dismissing Stokes became a “When your mom says ‘We have food at home’” GIF.
Social Media Roasts: The Real Entertainment
- Twitter: “Kohli’s form is like my GPA – once iconic, now questionable.”
- Instagram: Edits of Pant’s sixes with “Shooting Stars” music. 🌠
- TikTok: A fan crying, “Why’d we drop Iyer?!” looped to “Hello Darkness.”
Post-Match Presser: Rohit’s “We Vibed” vs Buttler’s “We’ll Bounce Back”
- Rohit: “Pant’s chaos is our secret weapon.” (Translation: “We have no idea what he’ll do next.”)
- Buttler: “We’ll learn from this.” (Translation: “We’ll pretend this didn’t happen.”)
What’s Next?
India’s 1-0 up, but England’s “It’s just a prank, bro!” energy is strong. Rumor has it they’re practicing reverse sweeps in the hotel pool. 💀
Final Take:
This match had mid-over meltdowns, top-tier memes, and enough chaos to fuel a K-drama. Missed it? Catch the highlights – or just stalk Pant’s Insta. Either way, you’ll cringe/laugh in equal measure. 🍿 #BazballOrBust #PantSZN