Pre-Match Vibes: “We’re Here for the Plot Twists”
After the 1st ODI trauma, England walked in like “We’ve got this!” while India smirked like “Bet.” Fans debated if Bumrah’s yorkers > Buttler’s eyeliner game. (Spoiler: Bumrah’s death stare solos both.)
Toss Drama: Rohit Won Again (Shocker!) and Chose to Bat (Double Shocker!)
Rohit: “We’ll bat. Trust the process.”
Buttler: “Cool, we’ll just… idk, cry in the dressing room?”
Fans: “Bruh, chasing is dead. RIP.” Meanwhile, BCCI’s Insta dropped a 🎮 emoji. “Game on.”
India’s Batting: From “Rohit Masterclass” to “Pant.exe Has Stopped Working”
Powerplay: Rohit and Gill opened like they were late for a Metro train. Rohit’s sixes? Chef’s kiss. Gill’s strike rate? Slower than your mom’s “5-minute WhatsApp reply.” Out for 32, and Twitter declared him “Gill-ty of wasting balls.”
Kohli’s Redemption Arc: Entered to “King Kohli!” chants. Played 45 balls, scored 55, then tried to ramp Wood. Result? “Out, but at least he tried!” 💔
Pant’s Chaos Theory 2.0: Smashed 76 off 50, including a reverse-scoop that broke the space-time continuum. Memes: “Pant vs Physics: 1-0.”
Tailenders: Jadeja tried to “MSD cosplay” but ended up looking like your uncle at a Diwali party. India all out for 315. “Could’ve been 350 if not for Livingstone’s “I’m a part-time bowler” flex.”
England’s Bowling: Wood Fired, Others… Meh
- Mark Wood: 150 km/h missiles. Pant’s bat: “Bro, why you mad?”
- Sam Curran’s 1/65: Got dragged harder than “She-Hulk” finale reviews.
- Adil Rashid’s Googlies: Broke stumps and hearts. India’s batters: “Pls uninstall.”
England’s Chase: A Comedy of Errors (And Tears)
Openers: Bairstow and Roy started like they were solving a Rubik’s Cube. Bairstow’s 38 off 28 had fans like, “Bazball’s back!” Then Shami said, “Nah,” and uprooted his stumps.
Root’s “Anchor” Mode: Scored 64 off 72. Strike rate? 88. Fans: “Bro thinks it’s 2010.”
Buttler’s Cameo: Smashed 2 sixes, then tried to helicopter Bumrah. Result? Stumps flew faster than his IPL paycheck.
Tailenders: Played like they had a Tesco delivery slot to catch. All out for 245. “At least they beat the Uber surge pricing?” – Copium FC.
MVP Flex: Shami’s Swing Drip 💨
- 4/38 stats.
- Vibes: “I’m here to collect wickets and vibes… and I’m all out of vibes.”
- Meme Moment: His celebratory “I’m Him” pose turned into a “When the WiFi connects” GIF.
Social Media Roasts: The Real Scoreboard
- Twitter: “Kohli’s form is like my New Year resolutions – starts strong, ends in shambles.”
- Instagram: Edits of Pant’s reverse-scoop with “Mission Impossible” theme. 🕶️
- TikTok: A fan crying, “Why’d we bench Chahal?!” looped to “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” 🎄
Post-Match Presser: Rohit’s “Stay Chaotic” vs Buttler’s “We’ll Bounce Back (Maybe)”
- Rohit: “Pant’s chaos is our brand now.” (Translation: “We’re just as confused as you.”)
- Buttler: “We’ll regroup.” (Translation: “We’ll Google ‘how to play spin.’”)
What’s Next?
India’s 2-0 up, but England’s “We’ll win the dead rubber for the memes” energy is strong. Rumor has it they’re practicing against “Cricket 22” on Xbox. 💀
Final Take:
This match had mid-innings meltdowns, meme-worthy moments, and enough chaos to fuel a Netflix doc. Missed it? Catch the highlights – or just stalk Pant’s Insta for the next chaos chapter. 🍿 #BazballOrBust #PantMakesNoSenseButWeStan